Splatoon Research Lab

EUREKA! We have discovered the existence of Splatoon 2, a brand-new Splatoon game for Nintendo Switch! This may very well be the most important discovery in the history of squid science! Incidentally, Splatoon 2 was also announced at the ongoing Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017 in Japan, BUT WE DISCOVERED IT FIRST! Anyway, we’ll once again be firing up the ol’ research machine here at the Squid Research Lab, so watch this space for in-depth reporting of our Splatoon 2 research findings!

Squid Research Lab reporting in! This video, which first surfaced at E3 2014, is the first recorded evidence of the newly discovered squid creatures. It’s proven to be an invaluable resource in helping us understand their unique biology. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out!

Squid Research Lab here, back with another report. The mysterious squid creatures have recently been observed splitting into two teams of four and fighting it out in ink-splattered territorial battles! Sounds like they’re calling this a turf war.

Squid Research Lab reporting in! In a turf war, victory appears to go to the team of squid creatures that covers the most territory with ink. Ink can also be used to splatter opponents, but this doesn’t seem to affect which team wins or loses. It’s all about inking the most turf!

Squid Research Lab breaking news! Our researchers have recently determined that this cat fellow here is actually the official referee of the squid creatures’ turf-war battles. He apparently has the uncanny ability to judge in a single glance which team has inked the most turf! How did this lone cat rise to a position of such prominence in a world dominated by squids? This mystery remains unsolved for now…

Squid Research Lab field-research team, reporting in! In addition to ink-splattered team-based online multiplayer, we’ve uncovered evidence that suggests Splatoon will also include a heroic single-player mode! This newly unearthed video footage has some clues about what this exciting discovery will entail.

Squid Research Lab back with new info! This newly discovered suit appears to be what the squid creatures will wear when making their way through the recently discovered single-player mode. In the words of one of our senior researchers, “It sure is cool looking!” Her theory is that its glowing blue appearance is likely inspired by the firefly squid. Sounds reasonable to me!

Squid Research Lab reporting in! We’ve got a new visual to share of the underground area our squid heroes will explore in the single-player mode. It’s apparently the creation of the mysterious octopus army that’s planning to invade the squids’ world. Those blue-sky images displayed on the giant monitors make the octopus guys seem a little bitter and in denial about living underground, don’t they…?

Squid Research Lab all-new discovery! This document was just uploaded by one of our undercover researchers. It appears to explain some of Splatoon’s controls. We’ve got several interns hard at work trying to decode the details, and we’ll report back as soon as we’ve got more solid info to share.

Squid Research Lab breaking news! One of our junior field researchers faxed over some sketches she did of the recently discovered squid suit and a few members of the ominous octopus army. The suit looks as cool as ever, but those octopus guys are more like just…tentacles. What happened to the rest of them?! We’re gonna have to get back to you on this one.

Squid Research Lab reporting in! Thanks to a hot tip from our bento delivery guy, we’ve discovered this video from Treehouse Live at E3 2014. The Americans appear to be conducting their own research into the mysterious squid creatures! We’re going to have to step up our efforts if we want to stay at the top of the squid game.

Squid Research Lab all-new report! We just got this text from one of our senior researchers. “OMG. Using the GamePad’s gyro sensor in conjunction with the L and R Sticks allows for pinpoint controls in Splatoon!” Fascinating! This must be what allows the squids to shoot with such incredible accuracy, even while moving.

Squid Research Lab new discovery! Our field-research team has just uploaded a fascinating new image. This photo taken during one of the squids’ infamous turf wars shows a cool skate-park area just completely splattered with ink. I wonder how everyone else in the neighborhood feels about this…

Squid Research Lab breaking news! Pressing the ZR Button has been confirmed as the key to shooting ink and splattering turf or opponents. We’re also getting solid reports of all sorts of different ways to shoot ink, with different weapons apparently designed for short-range shots, long-range attacks, and everything in between!

Continuing our previous report, pressing the R Button apparently allows the squid creatures to use a secondary weapon! This image shows one of these devices that appears to be some sort of grenade that splatters the surrounding area with ink when it explodes. While surely handy for direct attacks, our researchers suspect these could also be used tactically to restrict opponent movement or expose those hiding in their own color ink.

Squid Research Lab special report! We’ve just confirmed that the different colors of ink used by the squid creatures in turf wars can change from battle to battle! The colors also all appear to be incredibly vibrant. This new development is sure to brighten even the gloomiest of days!

Squid Research Lab breaking news! One of our research assistants just e-mailed us a new photo. It appears that these crazy squid creatures also engage in turf wars in much more natural settings than we’ve seen up to this point. Do these guys ever take a break from fighting? You’d think they’d try camping or having a barbecue once in a while…

Squid Research Lab coming at ya! We’ve just learned that when these mysterious creatures turn into squid form, they can swim in any ink their team has splattered on the ground. Not only that, but they move faster when swimming in ink than they do when running upright! They can also hide from opponents by swimming in ink and keeping still. How cool is that?!

Continuing our previous report, we’ve now learned that when in squid form, these amazing creatures can swim up walls if they’re covered in ink! However, our research shows that any ink splattered on vertical surfaces doesn’t count toward victory in a turf war, so this technique has more to do with strategy and deception than anything else.

Squid Research Lab reporting in! Our researchers have recently observed squid creatures jumping to incredible heights, almost like a rocket launching! Apparently tapping a teammate’s icon on the touch screen is all it takes to blast off to their location via a super jump. This technique is a great way to hop right into the thick of things, which sounds scary to me, but these squid guys seem like a fearless bunch.

Squid Research Lab breaking news! As previously reported, when in squid form these creatures can swim in their own color ink. And now new research suggests that enemy ink will not only slow them down, but prevent them from changing into squid form altogether. A pickle like that would make any squid squirm!

After our previous report about these crazy squid guys being able to perform super jumps during battle, we got a lot of letters from doubters saying things like “but squids can’t jump!” Little-known fact, but some real squids actually can! Don’t believe me? Go look up “jumping squid” on the Internet and see for yourself!

Squid Research Lab special report! Our sources have confirmed that this mysterious fellow is a rascally old squid who helps guide brave squid creatures through the single-player mode. Apparently he’s the only one who knows the truth about the bad-guy octopus dudes’ nefarious plan to bring chaos to the squids’ world. How does he know so much about the tension between the squid and octopus factions? Our researchers are hard at work trying to answer this very question.

We’ve recently uncovered a lot of new information about the wide variety of devices and contraptions that can be found in the single-player mode. This cannon, for example, can fire off huge globs of ink. But did the octopus forces make it, or did the squid guys put it there? Whatever the case, this is some seriously high-tech gadgetry.

Squid Research Lab breaking news! Apparently the squid world’s main power source is energy generated by these electric catfish dudes. In the single-player mode, it’s our brave squid hero’s job to recover the electric catfish stolen by the evil octopus forces and then infiltrate their headquarters. What an electrifying discovery!

Here’s another object our researchers have discovered in the single-player mode—some kind of sponge-like block. Our observations suggest that they expand when splattered with squid ink and shrink when hit with octopus ink. You know, sponges originally came from the sea… What other sorts of advancements have these crazy octopus guys made in biotechnology?!

One of our lab assistants just uploaded this new image apparently showing an old city that serves as the entrance to the single-player mode. It’s said to contain the ruins of a once-great civilization. There’s something oddly familiar about it, but…maybe that’s just me.

We recently received this sketch from a junior field researcher. It appears to be a young, male squid dude equipped with some sort of high-tech ink roller. He’s wearing glasses and a striped shirt here, but word on the street is that there’s all sorts of different gear available for the squid to wear. Who would have guessed fashion would be so important to these crazy creatures!

During a turf war, splattering ink on the ground apparently builds up the power necessary for a squid to use its super weapon. The one shown here is some sort of barrier-type bubble device that seems to repel enemy attacks for a certain amount of time. Rumor has it many other super weapon types also exist.

Squid Research Lab breaking news! The bad-guy octopus forces are apparently equipped with a wide variety of gear. Some of them have been seen using shields to defend against attacks, while others hide in their own ink, waiting to strike! Whatever their fighting method, their goal is the same: stop the squids at all costs.

We’ve received reports of another interesting device created by the octopus forces. Shooting the fan portion of this thing with ink will apparently cause the platform to move. We’ve heard that if you can get the fan spinning fast enough, the platform can also be used to ram enemies! Sounds like some advanced technique may be required to pull off this sweet move.

Squid Research Lab back with another report! We’ve just learned that in a turf war, each team earns points based on how much of the ground it covers with ink. You can also splatter opponents, but this apparently doesn’t affect the final score. It’s all about inking the most turf!

Hey there! No breaking news today, but I’ve got some time to kill while waiting for my breakfast bagel to microwave, so I thought why not drop a few squid facts on y’all. Did you know there are certain types of squids that can walk upright on land by using their tentacles as legs? This allows them to climb palm trees and harvest coconuts, which they roll into the ocean and use as flotation devices when they get tired of swimming. Truly a fascinating spectacle to witness if you ever get the chance!

Breaking news! We’re hearing multiple reports that the mysterious creatures can pass through fences, grates, and other porous surfaces when in squid form. This apparently allows them to take shortcuts and use hidden routes to complete their objectives! However, we’ve also seen evidence of this technique backfiring when one of the creatures turned into squid form accidentally while standing on a grate, causing it to fall through and land in a sticky situation. We’re not sure what marvel of anatomy allows them to perform this majestic feat, but we’re dedicating every available resource toward figuring it out.

We’ve just received this new sketch from one of our junior field researchers. Apparently the octopus army has built a massive weapon somewhere deep in their underground lair, and it sounds like they’re powering it with one of the kidnapped electric catfish! It’ll surely take quite an effort to defeat that bad boy and save the poor little fishy.

Hey, guys! If you’re cephalopod crazy like me, you probably already know this, but in case not, here’s a cool little factoid. Squids actually have really sharp beaks, almost like birds. They’ve got some pretty crazy-looking teeth too. Don’t believe me? Try searching the Internet for “squid teeth.” Freaky, right? Now take a look at this new image we just received. Looks like the mystery squid creatures have some pretty crazy chompers too!

Squid Research Lab breaking news! We’ve just received new intel on a fascinating device discovered in the underground octopus base. Apparently it’s possible to ride along these ink rails when in squid form!

Squid Research Lab, reporting in! Our research team just uploaded a new sketch this morning. This female squid creature appears to be holding some sort of long-range weapon. And look at that sweet-looking knit hat! These have got to be the coolest squids ever discovered.

This just in! There appear to be some members of the octopus forces that hit hard like a freight train. They’re also not so easy on the eyes… Just remember this: if it’s got two legs—look out!

Hey! It’s a slow day here in the lab, so I thought I’d drop a few more squid facts on you guys. Did you know that there are over 15,000 squid species in the world? Most of them live in water-filled caves way beneath the ocean floor, pretty close to the Earth’s core, in fact. The intense heat down there has apparently resulted in some crazy mutations too. Not that we’ve ever seen any of them, mind you, as getting down there would require some kind of insane diamond-tipped drill-dozer machine. I imagine they’re pretty cool-looking, though.

Hey! It’s a slow day here in the lab, so I thought I’d drop a few more squid facts on you guys. Did you know that there are over 15,000 squid species in the world? Most of them live in water-filled caves way beneath the ocean floor, pretty close to the Earth’s core, in fact. The intense heat down there has apparently resulted in some crazy mutations too. Not that we’ve ever seen any of them, mind you, as getting down there would require some kind of insane diamond-tipped drill-dozer machine. I imagine they’re pretty cool-looking, though.

Check it out! One of our lab assistants just texted over this fascinating new image. It looks like the interior of a giant warehouse, and the location of some intense turf-war battles. I sure hope the squids get permission before going in here and clean up after themselves when they’re done…

Breakings news! We’ve just received solid evidence confirming that some of the octopus creatures can take on a humanoid form, just like the crazy squids! However, this has so far only been observed in females. Are the octo-males not capable of this amazing feat? We’re assigning two interns to focus on answering this tantalizing question.

Merry Squidmas! Check out the awesome holiday card one of our senior interns sent us this year. From the looks of it, he’s been bitten by full-on squid mania!

You may already know this, but squids have a total of 10 limbs. So when these creatures turn into humanoid form, two of their limbs become legs, two turn into arms, two form their hair, but…where do the other four go? Well, I guess we have our answer! By the way, this will be our last research report of the year. Talk to you guys in 2015!

Happy New Year! Wishing you a tentacular, squidtastic, cephalopoppin’-off 2015! Now let’s get down to business. Check out the first photo we received this year from our research team. It looks like the crazy squids celebrate New Year’s also! But…wait. Squids keep track of time?! I don’t even…

This just in! One of our senior research assistants just faxed over a fascinating new image. At first glance, this looks like a typical back alley, but word on the street is that it’s a favorite battleground for these crazy squids. Apparently it’s a popular place to hone one’s skills in one-on-one duels. If fact, it looks familiar for some reason…

Breaking news! One of our interns recently saw a squid guy fall into a creek during a turf war, and guess what?! The squid dissolved! This suggests that these creatures can’t maintain a solid form when submerged in water. Does this mean that they’re actually made of liquid? The mystery deepens…